I call over my slave boy, who comes to place a cigarette in my mouth and light it.

As I tease him with a blow of smoke to his face, I tell him his job today will to be my ashtray.

He know how lucky he is to be my ashtray as he gobbles up the flicks from my ash.

Of course, as well as breathing my smoke and swallowing my ash, he also has the job of extinguishing the cigarette - I take sadistic delight in burning the cigarette into his chest, before stubbing it out and he swallows the butt.

He might be lucky, but it was never going to be an easy job!