I'm so fucking smart, I'm always coming up for new ways to literally drain the power, money and life out of you. Well I have an exciting new way for you to serve me without spending any money, it's really easy. All you have to do is name me as the Beneficiary of all your assets. You can name me in your will, your life insurance policy, as the inheritor on your 401K. After that, all you have to do is starve and neglect yourself for me until you! Then I'll cash in on all those assets, without ever having had to speak to you.