You’ll have nothing but time on your hands for Valentine’s Day this year won’t you? You don’t have anything better to do. And I know you’re already resigned to a life without pussy. So you’re most definitely not getting laid.

I believe that everyone, even slaves like you, deserves a little bit of affection. So, I took it upon myself to set you up on a little date. I’ve set you up with someone you know very well, someone who you’re really close to, and frankly the only person I knew who’d be willing to go ALL the way with you.

Can you guess who?