What am I wearing, you ask? Well, I'm going to a funeral and I want to be properly attired, of course. You see, there's been a terrible accident - or there *will* be one very, very soon. Whose funeral am I talking about? Yours, my darling husband! Now that you've added me to your will, there is no reason for me to keep you around. I'm putting you down like a bad pet and I'm going to do it with my very own, leather gloved hands...