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Hi, I'm Nurse Petra! I understand you're here to get help for an earache. It appears the government took away your health insurance, so you're no longer eligible to see your usual doctor. I'll handle your treatment today! This exam is likely a bit more invasive than you're used to, but you want help so you're stuck with me! You know, now that I think about it, the best remedy for your earache is a penectomy. I'm sure you miss your old health insurance, but it's too late for you.