I'd like for you to watch me smoke as I stare into your eyes and tell you all the things that turn me on about smoking. Maybe I love the danger. Maybe I love the way it looks and feels. I do long, slow inhales, some French inhales, and just thoroughly enjoy this most taboo of luxuries. I'm going to tell you some of my smoking fantasies, lucky you.

Do you wish you were my ashtray? Wish you could inhale my smoke? Of course you do.