My shoes were brand new, sparkling clean, until I went outside and stepped in doo doo. A normal person would be bummed, having to scrub them clean, but not me! I have personal shoe cleaning bitches like you to do these things for me. The most hilarious part about it, is that you foot freaks would be honored to lick the off my shoe. Maybe if you lick them good enough, I'll let you sniff my dirty socks, then maybe if you are really really pathetic enough, I'll let you kiss my naked, bare soles! hahahaha it's really sad to think this would actually be the highlight of you life!