Happy Halloween bitches. Your sluttiness has no bounds and I know it, so for this October, you're going to do what you've never done before and fuck a pumpkin for me.

If you're a pathetic pumpkin virgin, don't worry, I'll guide you step by step on how to foreplay your pumpkin, get it nice and gaping, and then properly treat it like a filthy whore.

Is this comedy? Is this porn? WHO KNOWS AND I DON'T CARE