Hey there, I'm glad you turned up for our private webchat, I really need to have a word with you.

You see when we're in work calls, I don't know if you know but when you move your arm too fast it makes your fake background glitch out, and I can see that you're naked and jerking off during work hours.

I recorded you with a screen cap program, and unless you jerk off for me now, following my, extra mean instructions then I'm going to show it to our boss and get you fired!