Oh my new mattress is so comfortable, I could just lie here forever and sink into the memory foam, wrapped up in a big, thick duvet like a burrito... I love it much more than I love you!
Speaking of love, I'm sure there'll be plenty of that goes on between these sheets... Not with you of course, you're just here to pay for it, that the nearest you'll get to pleasing me sexually... Paying for my mattress!