So I was going through our attic, and I found... Do you remember the shoes I used to wear when we were dating?
Back before I realised what a pathetic little loser you are?
They're still really nice shoes and I think I could still walk in them, but they really need a clean and I'm not going to let you use a cloth!
I still think they'll be excellent for attracting attention in... So I think I'm going to have a night of fun in them... Without you!