I catch you watching my feet when I'm walking around so I sit in front of you, remove my shoes, and tell you it's time you get a new girlfriend. But I'm shocked to learn you want my FEET to be your GF! No, step-son, my feet will be so old soon! Will you still love my feet in 10 years? You think you will, huh? Well, go ahead and kiss my soles, and take them on dates, and take them shopping, but you can't jerk! I'll test your commitment to my feet every year.