You hate Christmas don't you loser? Everyone so happy, spending time with their friends and families, having fun, exchanging gifts.. Then there's you, quite happy to sit at hgome, alone, and whack off to bitch brats like Me. It's pathetic. I'll be surrounded by family on Christmas day. I don't imagine I'll give you freaks the slightest thought all day! Well, maybe if I open a particularly amazing present from one of you...

So sit down, loner, let's face it, this is exactly what you wanted fr Christmas.