It's a compulsion, a compulsion to goon all day long, and I am here to reinforce it. You can't help wanting to stroke all day, every day, and you won't quit. I will have you sink into mesmerizing loser goon mode. You will go deeper as I tease you with my perfect latex-clad body. You can't get away. You're just a gooner loser. So go ahead and try to resist!

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