This Valentine’s Day I have a real surprise for you honey. Are you ready? Here it is: I know about your little dominatrix girlfriend. But rather than cry about it, I’ve decided to take control of the situation. Apparently you like women who are in control, but if I’m really going to be in control, that means that I make the decisions. Instead of whips and chains and black leather, we’re going to be enjoying pink sissy dresses, fluffy diapers, and chastity! Because you’re not going to be just another fake sub chauvinistic pig. You’re going to be my sweet, padded, pink piggy plaything!