Part 1:

I'm outside the residence of a criminal I'm about to arrest! Now you're probably wondering how I can just walk in and place someone in cuffs without a warrant, and I'm here to show you. This guy is a total freaking loser. I can really just do whatever I want! What is he going to do about it? You'll see!

I knock on the door and the small ugly dork answers. I introduce myself as a noble officer of the law, here to question him about an incident last night. While taking his testimony, I mention that his apartment seems way too expensive for someone like him. It's a li...

Part 1:

I'm outside the residence of a criminal I'm about to arrest! Now you're probably wondering how I can just walk in and place someone in cuffs without a warrant, and I'm here to show you. This guy is a total freaking loser. I can really just do whatever I want! What is he going to do about it? You'll see!

I knock on the door and the small ugly dork answers. I introduce myself as a noble officer of the law, here to question him about an incident last night. While taking his testimony, I mention that his apartment seems way too expensive for someone like him. It's a little bit suspicious! He gets nervous and asks me to leave or he will complain to my deputy. I laugh and spit in his face. He is so offended but what can he do? Assult an officer? Lol I make him strip then I keep slapping him and spitting and farting on his face over and over. You see, I know he has been stealing credit cards and committing fraud. But since he refuses to admit it, I have no choice but to beat the information out of him.

I push him to the ground and straddle him. I continue to interrogate him. He must secretly enjoy it, because no one would willingly go through this much to hide their crime. I turn around and smother his face in my giant sweaty ass and unleash a bunch of pent of farts down the loser's throat to make him speak. I cut off his air under my big butt, grinding him down and feeling him struggle hopelessly while I demand answers. He must have had enough of my gas because he finally cracks and admits to stealing cards.

It's that easy! No warrant needed. I confiscate the stolen goods and place him in cuffs. I read his rights and lead him to the detention center where I will take his official statement.