I was so excited for us to go on a date, because you look nice and you said you were 6'1". But when you arrive, you're actually 5'2". I am in shock. There is no universe where I would ever be seen with someone as small as you! You barely come up to my armpit. What do you think people would think about me?? That's humiliating! I just don't get how you thought you could get away with this. Our date is officially cancelled, but I am not done with you. You can be useful to me in other ways.

For one, you are the perfect height to clean the sweat from my armpits. I graciously let you run... Show more