Part 1:

My girlfriend had this whole big day planned for Valentine's, but she didn't tell me because she wanted it to be a surprise. So I hung out with my buddies and got high. I totally forgot it was even Valentines. A commercial or something reminded me and I busted out of Jim's house to the closest gas station so I'd have SOMETHING for her....

I found some chocolate covered pretzels and covered them with the substance I was enjoying with my friends. Oh my god. She was so freaking pissed that I was late and all I had was some generic garbage. I hoped she'd at least try s...

Part 1:

My girlfriend had this whole big day planned for Valentine's, but she didn't tell me because she wanted it to be a surprise. So I hung out with my buddies and got high. I totally forgot it was even Valentines. A commercial or something reminded me and I busted out of Jim's house to the closest gas station so I'd have SOMETHING for her....

I found some chocolate covered pretzels and covered them with the substance I was enjoying with my friends. Oh my god. She was so freaking pissed that I was late and all I had was some generic garbage. I hoped she'd at least try some of the pretzels but she just started throwing them at me then snatching them up to spit at the windshield while I cowered in my car.

Oh thank god. It's Part 2:

The pretzels DID get into her system. Now she's hearing music in her head and having sex with my car and the balloons I gave her. Damn I'm a lucky guy.