I've got some fresh, clean, never worn bright blue argyle socks that I am ready to destroy! After putting them on while propped up on the kitchen table I say we go for a smoke outside. Why don't you get the door for me and I'll walk outside and get these soles nice and filthy. I'll start by smushing them in all the outside dirt and dust, including all my cigarette ash. I wonder where I'll take them next to get filthy...