I narrowed down my shoe list to a top 5 that will get the job done on those pathetic little balls of yours. We are going to rate them by looks and functionality which will decide how many hits and how many days you have to hit yourself. Then I'm going to leave some things up to chance with flipping the coin... but who knows, maybe I'll just cheat and make a choice regardless of what the coin says. I know I'm a mean bitch, and you love it. We'll finish by counting out your hits so that you watch it every day to receive your due pain, bitch.