You have been the worst responsibility I took in with my marriage. Who knew my hot new husband would come saddled with such a burden. You're perverted, porn-addicted, and I see all the lustful, filthy looks you shoot my way. I refuse to tolerate it any longer. I've decided it's for your own good if I perform surgery on you. I will take away every part of you that makes you such a horny pig. A snip here, some carving there... it will be simple to alter you into a functioning member of society. We'll celebrate later by deleting all of your porn once we're home.