Birthdays are so fun, I know you've been looking forward to it all year. You may be planning on going out to the bar, out to dinner, to the movies, and so on. I know more than any of that, though, you want to serve me. Why should you do all that fun stuff when I'm the one who really deserves it?

You can sit home alone and think about how grateful you are to be serving me. It's what you truly deserve.