Jerkaholic Virgin (Custom): You are still a virgin loser and at this point it's better to just stick with what you know than to try and embarrass yourself. The only pussy you'll ever need to know is your hand! Except, see, that is *my* pussy, and you can only use it when I allow you to. You're not just friendzoned, you're loserzoned, and it's the best you can get considering! Aren't you so happy you can get, well, anything at all?