Aww, you poor little thing, so lost and lonely, so inescapably programmed for failure. Maybe Step-Mommy didn’t love you enough, or you couldn’t ever live up to Step-Daddy’s expectations, or maybe you got your head dunked in the toilet too many times at school, or all the popular girls made fun of you and called you ugly, outed your crushes and laughed at you as your cheeks burned red with shame, so now you mope around in a haze of self-pity and bitterness at your misfortune. Poor thing, all that didn’t toughen you up, did it? It simply broke you and programmed you to crave more. Awww.