Typical is the loser who hits the bottle hard after a bad breakup, and you may not be typical, perv, but you are a typical loser. Instead of just shutting yourself up in the dark and listening to bad music, though, how about letting Me be your breakup binge guide? It won’t be that expensive LOL. It’ll be so much better this way, I’ll tell you when to drink in between showers of insults and taunting. In fact, it’ll be My mission to ensure you never fee worthy of a girlfriend again. She was probably a pig but still so much better than you, don’t you agree? Probably cheated on you le...

Typical is the loser who hits the bottle hard after a bad breakup, and you may not be typical, perv, but you are a typical loser. Instead of just shutting yourself up in the dark and listening to bad music, though, how about letting Me be your breakup binge guide? It won’t be that expensive LOL. It’ll be so much better this way, I’ll tell you when to drink in between showers of insults and taunting. In fact, it’ll be My mission to ensure you never fee worthy of a girlfriend again. She was probably a pig but still so much better than you, don’t you agree? Probably cheated on you left and right. Awww am I hitting too close to home, loser? Take another drink.