You may be an adequate shopping bitch financially, but physically you’re really not up to par. You’re fat, weak, out of shape, arthritic, and I guarantee you sweat like a hog. My friends and I are planning a real blowout; how are you going to carry all Our bags without dropping them? Can you keep up with Us walking from store to store all day? Are you capable of helping Us try on shoes without fumbling around like an idiot? I have very high standards, and if you can’t meet them, We’ll simply take your credit cards and leave you high and dry.

You may be an adequate shopping bitch financially, but physically you’re really not up to par. You’re fat, weak, out of shape, arthritic, and I guarantee you sweat like a hog. My friends and I are planning a real blowout; how are you going to carry all Our bags without dropping them? Can you keep up with Us walking from store to store all day? Are you capable of helping Us try on shoes without fumbling around like an idiot? I have very high standards, and if you can’t meet them, We’ll simply take your credit cards and leave you high and dry.