I get a lot of requests from losers that are just dying to be a part of My life, to see what it feels like to be squished below My divine feet.So I decided to start holding RUG TRYOUTS. Which one of you could be the most fitting rug for Me?!This sorry carpet thinks he's worthy...but I don't know. He may just be too round. I'll have to JUMP STOMP and TRAMPLE him flat!! Maybe see if he can self-clean, too, as I SPIT in his face and make him LICK My BOOTS. Will he make it when I land on his FACE?Let's find out...

Twitter - MissXI_