I was gardening and, well, maybe I should have put on some boots, I don't know. Because my feet are ... so ... dirty. Wouldn't you just love to clean and massage my feet for me, while I enjoy two well-deserved cigarettes and sit in the sun as my reward for all my hard work. Yes, you would, oh you very much would. Which do you think are dirtier ... my two feet, or my two lungs?