I wait patiently for my neighbours to arrive... accidentally sitting on one of the puppies on the floor! They cry out when they run in and see me sitting on their puppy, and I try getting up, but struggle and end up wiggling and smushing it more. I blame them for letting it roam around and I explain how much I weigh and that you broke the poor thing... with a half-hearted apology. Their crying starts to annoy me so I tell them I’ll handle it and sit back down. I tell them to listen, and explain how pets are good for nothing and how most of mine ended up this way. I explain a few times where...

I wait patiently for my neighbours to arrive... accidentally sitting on one of the puppies on the floor! They cry out when they run in and see me sitting on their puppy, and I try getting up, but struggle and end up wiggling and smushing it more. I blame them for letting it roam around and I explain how much I weigh and that you broke the poor thing... with a half-hearted apology. Their crying starts to annoy me so I tell them I’ll handle it and sit back down. I tell them to listen, and explain how pets are good for nothing and how most of mine ended up this way. I explain a few times where I have sat on my pets, including one time where my heavy-set friends came over and there was a terrible accident... They call me fat and mean, so I decide to reach them a lesson. I start with their hamster, then their other puppy, then their Beanie Baby. My big stinky butt is ready to do some serious smushing!