I get lots of fanmail delivered the old fashioned way... in envelopes by a postman on a little bike. And my favourite way to open these letters of love and devotion is to sit on one of my inflatable beachballs with my handy letter opener. Naturally, I also like to do this topless and in my favourite pair of white baggy boyshorts. The only problem is that when I receive these letters and the contents are not to my liking, then the beachball could suffer the consequences. And these consequences involve my big inflatable beachball meeting the point end of the letter opener. However, this resul...

I get lots of fanmail delivered the old fashioned way... in envelopes by a postman on a little bike. And my favourite way to open these letters of love and devotion is to sit on one of my inflatable beachballs with my handy letter opener. Naturally, I also like to do this topless and in my favourite pair of white baggy boyshorts. The only problem is that when I receive these letters and the contents are not to my liking, then the beachball could suffer the consequences. And these consequences involve my big inflatable beachball meeting the point end of the letter opener. However, this results in some super slow popping as the air squeals out of the holes I have made it in and I attempt to slow the deflation with my big fat ass and thick thighs. If you spend time with me opening my fanmail, you will also get commentary on what I receive, and I can be seething in my reviews. Sit back, get comfortable with me, and lets look at what my fans have to say.