TODAYS PATIENT GRABBED THE WRONG GIRL'S ASS AND GOT KICKED IN THE NUTS SO HARD HE HAD TO CALL NURSE BELLS FOR HELP. I PUT THE PATIENT IN A HOT BATH TO LOOSEN THE TESTICLES FOR A THOROUGH EXAMINATION. HIS INABILITY TO GET HARD AND EJACULATE WHILE STARING AT MY CLEAVAGE DURING MY INITIAL TESTICLE PRESSURE ASSESSMENT LED ME TO DETERMINE THAT THE POOR BOY HAD A TESTICLE TORSION. I ADMINISTER A SERIES OF IMPACT AND PRESSURE TREATMENTS TO HIS BROKEN BALLS UNTIL I AM SATISFIED THAT HE HAS LEARNED HIS LESSON, I MEAN SATISFIED THAT I HAVE ERADICATED THE TORSION .)