I was just waking up from a nap and what do I spy on my nightstand? A tiny, pathetic man. I decide to have a little sadistic fun with this little guy by pelting him with my wretched morning breath and big yawns. He starts complaining about how wet and smelly my mouth is, so I punish him by spitting and snotting all over him. That's what tiny men get for whining.

I then decide that the tiny man might be good for a snack. He "convinces" me to eat something first, thinking it will spare his life. What a fool. I chew as disgusting as I can up close and belch in the tiny man's face over an... Show more