I'm getting all cozy with my sexy boyfriend, getting ready to get down and dirty for Valentine's Day... when my stupid HUSBAND shows up with chocolate after his hard day at work! How inconvenient. Wait... let's have some fun and show him his place here. You know, hubby, I appreciate all the hours you work just to pay my bills and keep me happy, and this sure is yummy chocolate (you want some, boyfriend?), but I want you to know that I've been spending your money on sexy boyfriends. We have such a sexy time on your dime, honey. We were just about to celebrate!

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