To say that you've got your life together is quite a stretch. If you're a groveling loser, a masturbation addict, or just suffering from being a male, it's safe to say that your house doesn't look like an intelligent person has ever cleaned it. Ever. I know you boys: you actually think people will think you're gay if you clean up after yourself. For real. What is wrong with you? I'm going to assume that you've slipped by all these years because you've never learned to take care of yourself, because you always had some sort of step-mommy doing it for you.

Or, most likely, you've ne...

To say that you've got your life together is quite a stretch. If you're a groveling loser, a masturbation addict, or just suffering from being a male, it's safe to say that your house doesn't look like an intelligent person has ever cleaned it. Ever. I know you boys: you actually think people will think you're gay if you clean up after yourself. For real. What is wrong with you? I'm going to assume that you've slipped by all these years because you've never learned to take care of yourself, because you always had some sort of step-mommy doing it for you.

Or, most likely, you've never had a Woman to prove yourself to.

I'm going to get your house completely clean, then dirty again. Then you can clean it over. Let's start in the kitchen. From top to bottom, I want this place to pass the white glove test. Do not half-ass it; follow My every command. After you've gotten started, you'll get naked and start wanking while you wash. Eventually you'll get a rhythm going: wank, wipe, wank, wipe, wank, wipe. Nice.

I'm not letting you leave the kitchen until it's spotless. I'll talk you through it, clean freak, and you can follow along to My heaving, bulging, beautiful breasts to keep you focused. I can get you to do anything with this body, and I want you to clean your fucking kitchen.

Now, after you've finished, I want you to stand back and take in all that you've done. Really admire and appreciate that hard work and how bright and clean it is! Good job! Now, jerk off onto the floor. Get it messy. Oh no, you can't ruin your nice, clean floors! Well, I have a special cleaning technique that's perfect for you: Lick it up. All of it. I know you'll get all of it, because otherwise you'll have a sparkling kitchen with a sticky stain right in the middle of the floor. All of it. Lick it. Slurp it up. Eat it. Clean for Me.

I will take you through the other rooms in your house, no matter how big or small, in subsequent instructional videos.

Contains partial nudity, and you will pay for it. Besides, you're saving money by not hiring a cleaning professional. Spend it on ME.