Dummies belong under the desk, to be seen and not heard. Like a pet, just stay on the floor while The Boss enjoys her evening. Lounging in my kimono, I take in a quick show while you drool under my feet. I will give you some gifts, however: Some vicious flip-offs and birdfingers, a bit of scrunching, and a nice lotion-massage of my feet - right in front of your begging face. This is the best time you'll ever have, being treated like the stain you are: less than human.

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