I'm sick of always looking for the bathroom when I'm out living my busy life, so I thought I would solve two problems at once. You need purpose in your life, and I need a personal toilet to go with me everywhere, ready to be used at my convenience. This is the closest you will get to being invited into my life, and we both know you have nothing better to do with your existence. Isn't that right, fart dumpster? You will live for nothing but consuming my waste, aching for every bite.

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