Maybe you've got friends who try to cheer you up and tell you that you're not lame, ugly, and annoying. Maybe they even try to convince you that you'll get a girl soon. Those "friends" are liars - but Goddess Nixon is here to be excruciatingly honest with you. The truth is that you're an irredeemable loser. You're doomed to be a total motherfucking loser for your entire life. But Goddess is charitable enough to offer one way to make your loser existence worthwhile.

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