I'm glad you're home early, I want to talk to you. Don't worry my love, it's not that I'm unhappy. Quite the contrary actually. I am curious however as to why you haven't brought up my considerable weight gain? It's normal to put on some relationship weight but look at all of this! I've blown up like a balloon! There's no way that you couldn't have noticed, I've more than doubled my weight since we started dating. Your eyes betray you with lust and the way you touch my fattened body makes me think that you like it. I like it too.

If we're being honest with each other, I'm...

I'm glad you're home early, I want to talk to you. Don't worry my love, it's not that I'm unhappy. Quite the contrary actually. I am curious however as to why you haven't brought up my considerable weight gain? It's normal to put on some relationship weight but look at all of this! I've blown up like a balloon! There's no way that you couldn't have noticed, I've more than doubled my weight since we started dating. Your eyes betray you with lust and the way you touch my fattened body makes me think that you like it. I like it too.

If we're being honest with each other, I'm not the only one that has been piling on the pounds. Did you think that I wouldn't notice that you had to replace all of your jeans? What's the saying, "a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips"? You weren't thinking of the consequences of your overindulgence were you piglet? That's right I called you a piglet, you're not fat enough to be a proper hog yet! What? You know you want this as much as I do.