Oh hey there! Yeah, my hubby isn't home right now. I let out a big fart! Oops... sorry. But then a big belch follows! Phew I'm gassy. I had told you to come over at this time because that's when my hubby was supposed to be home. I ... may ... have lied hehe. Buuuuuurrrp! Have you seen my garden? It's so gorgeous right?! Well, it's because I have figured out the trick to make it perfect. Humans make the best fertilizer. Well... human that is! But I need to make it and my husband's friends make such a great source of food and snacks that I digest. Faaaaaaartttt! Man, I haven't had time to Dave o...

Oh hey there! Yeah, my hubby isn't home right now. I let out a big fart! Oops... sorry. But then a big belch follows! Phew I'm gassy. I had told you to come over at this time because that's when my hubby was supposed to be home. I ... may ... have lied hehe. Buuuuuurrrp! Have you seen my garden? It's so gorgeous right?! Well, it's because I have figured out the trick to make it perfect. Humans make the best fertilizer. Well... human that is! But I need to make it and my husband's friends make such a great source of food and snacks that I digest. Faaaaaaartttt! Man, I haven't had time to Dave out yet. He was here right before you and I gobbled him up so fast and before you get away, I'm going to eat you! Nom nom nom. My husband comes home and seems sort of cross with me. I don't know where your friends are baby. I haven't seen them! You tell me that you know what I have been doing and you aren't very pleased about it. Finally, I admit that I have been consuming your friends to turn into fertilizer for the garden and that if you don't get on board, you're going to be next! Your tune changes real quick. I describe, in detail, about how I consumed Dave and Jim before you came home. I even already them out! Wow, they made me so gassy! I belch and rip ass over and over as I describe how I digested them. Oh, then Martha, Jim's wife came looking for him. Obviously I needed to eat her too. Beeeellllccchhh! Brrrhhaaaaaap! Yeah, that's Martha all right. When it's time to evacuate her from my bowels, I think I'll do it right into the garden. Fresh hot as fertilizer is sure to make it grow even better. Or I can take that dump and bake it into a food and eat it. Like, double eat her you know? Do you think that will make better fertilizer? I am so excited to finally share this with you. You are now my accomplice and you have no choice! I go over your friends who we can call over for me to eat and digest. I don't have friends because I just eat them all. The only reason you've lasted so long with me is because I've managed to stay full on your friends. And you better stay compliant or else I'll digest you and bake you into a dish to serve to whoever I date next...