Sweet Jesus, could your giant step-dad be any more of an idiot? He's feeling guilty for shrinking you down to tiny size. You've lost your girlfriend, all your friends make fun of you now. So his fucking brilliant solution is - get this - imaginary friends. "Just like when you were little! I mean..." Even when he's trying to do the right thing, he puts his foot in his mouth. He bought a bag of gummy bears so you can pretend they're your new friends. One by one, he pulls them out of the bag, names them, and introduces them to you, coming up with backstories for each of the candy bears each ti...

Sweet Jesus, could your giant step-dad be any more of an idiot? He's feeling guilty for shrinking you down to tiny size. You've lost your girlfriend, all your friends make fun of you now. So his fucking brilliant solution is - get this - imaginary friends. "Just like when you were little! I mean..." Even when he's trying to do the right thing, he puts his foot in his mouth. He bought a bag of gummy bears so you can pretend they're your new friends. One by one, he pulls them out of the bag, names them, and introduces them to you, coming up with backstories for each of the candy bears each time. He is so fucking lame. He still can't keep himself from being self-centered and selfish; just when you start playing along and getting in the spirit, he gets hungry and starts eating all your friends. Ass.

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