The other day I noticed that the ceiling in my kitchen needed to be washed and even though I was really not dressed for the occasion in my white skirt and cute pink t-shirt and Chuck Taylor’s, my step-mother always says there’s ‘no time like the present’ for such vitally important, life-dependant tasks. What would happen if I were to suddenly kick the bucket and everyone were able to bear witness to the horrifying state of my kitchen ceiling? Well, I was not about to find out, I can tell you that much. So, on with the task at hand! Being short, of course I needed to get out my trusty old st...

The other day I noticed that the ceiling in my kitchen needed to be washed and even though I was really not dressed for the occasion in my white skirt and cute pink t-shirt and Chuck Taylor’s, my step-mother always says there’s ‘no time like the present’ for such vitally important, life-dependant tasks. What would happen if I were to suddenly kick the bucket and everyone were able to bear witness to the horrifying state of my kitchen ceiling? Well, I was not about to find out, I can tell you that much. So, on with the task at hand! Being short, of course I needed to get out my trusty old stepladder to be able to reach up there. Well wouldn't ya know it, on my way up the stepladder, out of absolutely nowhere, I suddenly had to pee! Jesus, Joseph and Mary! So I says to myself, I says, 'fuck it, by hook or by crook this god forsaken damn ceiling needs to be washed! And it must be washed this instant!’. And in my usual 'nonchalant as fuck' kinda way, I let it all that hot pee go. All over my Chucks and everything. And by pure coincidence, there just so happened to be two cameras rolling at different angles to be able to capture it all for you! One was on the floor looking up the stepladder to me and one was a close up shot of my pink Chucks just getting totally soaked. Oh boy, there really is a God! And he fucking loves you. Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!