Oh, isn't it just tragically hilarious? You, thinking you could ever get a real woman to even glance in your direction, let alone touch you. You, a pathetic, sorry excuse for a man, dreaming of a real pussy? Please. The closest you'll ever get to any sort of intimacy is with that cold, lifeless piece of silicone you hide under your bed. Your fleshlight. Yes, that's your girlfriend, the only one who'd ever tolerate your pitiful existence. So why don't you go ahead, take it out for a romantic evening at home, light some candles, put on some mood music, and whisper sweet nothings into its plas...

Oh, isn't it just tragically hilarious? You, thinking you could ever get a real woman to even glance in your direction, let alone touch you. You, a pathetic, sorry excuse for a man, dreaming of a real pussy? Please. The closest you'll ever get to any sort of intimacy is with that cold, lifeless piece of silicone you hide under your bed. Your fleshlight. Yes, that's your girlfriend, the only one who'd ever tolerate your pitiful existence. So why don't you go ahead, take it out for a romantic evening at home, light some candles, put on some mood music, and whisper sweet nothings into its plastic ear. It's the only date you're ever going to have, the only one you deserve. A perfect match for a worthless loser like you. Don't forget to thank it for the mercy of its non-judgmental embrace, it's more than you deserve, and deep down, you know it.