Oh, my sweet darling husband...

You are always away on business. You know- making that money so that you could even DREAM of being married to a woman like me. Alas, your money is just not enough for me... You see, I'm not really a one man kind of woman... besides, you're a bit of a pathetic specimen. You just can't please me... You're really only good for your money.

So I call your assistant to see just how long you'll be out of town- I also get your work email so that your secretary may even come across this whilst screening your emails.