I hate to interrupt your usual programming... but it's time for an intervention... of sorts. Just as you've always suspected - as you peruse the internet for porn to get off with - there IS a government agency spying on and taking note of your online activity... down to EVERY move, every site, and every jerk. I've been personally assigned to your case; I know ALL your ticks. And I'm utterly disappointed in the low quality of porn you've been feeding your mind - and dick. It seems you're in desperate need of some proper instruction, and I'm personally going to GIVE IT to you.

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