Well, you know what would happen if new jewelry came into my life... and a new boyfriend. You've been my watch for a year now. Did you see the new bracelet my boyfriend gave me for our one-year dating anniversary? It's so beautiful... I'm sorry, but you just don't match anymore. And I can't not wear the gift he's given me. I mean, I LOVE him. I just don't have the need to wear you anymore; your time of being useful to me is over. Oh, but we had some great times together, didn't we! Do you remember sitting on my wrist when you were the only thing I wore? Or that time I gave my boyfriend a h...

Well, you know what would happen if new jewelry came into my life... and a new boyfriend. You've been my watch for a year now. Did you see the new bracelet my boyfriend gave me for our one-year dating anniversary? It's so beautiful... I'm sorry, but you just don't match anymore. And I can't not wear the gift he's given me. I mean, I LOVE him. I just don't have the need to wear you anymore; your time of being useful to me is over. Oh, but we had some great times together, didn't we! Do you remember sitting on my wrist when you were the only thing I wore? Or that time I gave my boyfriend a handjob while I was wearing you and he came all over your face? Ha! That made me giggle. Did you like watching me rest while you laid on the bedside table next to me all night long? Well, I'm afraid that is going to be your new home; I'm taking you off... for GOOD. Oh, look at you... looking all sad and bereft on the table. Are you lonely? Feeling neglected? What AM I going to do with you now? You're just going to gather dust and sit there looking all jealous over my newer jewelry. I know what! You can be of use just one last time... I'm going to sell you, make a little money, and ship you off to a new owner. Thank goodness for eBay! I wonder how many unwanted accessories are changing hands all over the globe? Gee... your new owner isn't going to know that you were once a man... and that you can see and hear everything she does. She won't even think to talk to you. You'll just be her own mere accessory. How sad. (Sequel to "You Know What You Are to Me: a Mere Accessory." Enjoy them together or separately!)