That worthless thing between your legs is causing problems again, so I'm taking matters into my own hands. No sex, no masturbating, no pornography of any kind, you're going cold turkey. Your one purpose in life is to make money for me. I want those hands handling hundred dollar bills and that's it! You don't have a God-given right to self pleasure, so I'm removing the possibility. Now you're going to focus that feeble mind on the one thing you're good for, making more money to give to me!