Sit comfortably and repeat your new money mantra. No need for audio: simply stare deeply at My boots, My nails, My fingers, My flogger... stare so deeply that the only thing you can be sure of is that you exist to serve The Smyth Fund.

Ms Smyth is a Financial Dominatrix, and Her purpose in life is to extract funds from you.

Sit comfortably and repeat your new money mantra. No need for audio: simply stare deeply at My boots, My nails, My fingers, My flogger... stare so deeply that the only thing you can be sure of is that you exist to serve The Smyth Fund.

Ms Smyth is a Financial Dominatrix, and Her purpose in life is to extract funds from you.