You’ve just returned from a weekend away from home and I am so happy to see you back. The house is a mess but that doesn’t bother you too much! I know you missed me and my nasty smelling burps because I'm your dirty burping piggy and you're my belch loving bitch! I've just been eating junk food all weekend. I also ate a bunch of eggs and beans and dairy and I have to say it is making me look and feel super bloated and uncomfortable.

I try to sooth the bloating with some smooth soda pop and fizzy drinks. It tastes delicious but now I’m also burping. The burps are really loud and lon...

You’ve just returned from a weekend away from home and I am so happy to see you back. The house is a mess but that doesn’t bother you too much! I know you missed me and my nasty smelling burps because I'm your dirty burping piggy and you're my belch loving bitch! I've just been eating junk food all weekend. I also ate a bunch of eggs and beans and dairy and I have to say it is making me look and feel super bloated and uncomfortable.

I try to sooth the bloating with some smooth soda pop and fizzy drinks. It tastes delicious but now I’m also burping. The burps are really loud and long but most importantly they are really smelly. The smell wafts all around the room and creates a foggy haze that irritates the eyes. You love it, but I cannot say as much for the mailman who has been avoiding the house as much as possible. The stench must be unbearable for the weak and those with an untrained nose.

I continue telling you about my week, but at this point I’m not sure if there are more words or burps. I love that we share this common love for smelly burps and that I can be your bloated little piggy burping up a storm in your face and blowing them like kisses at you.

I know you like to see my bloated belly, so I take my top off to let you get a better view of my stomach and how it moves in and out with every burp I make. You can practically see the burps bubbling up from my belly up my throat and out my mouth. Then I get up right into your face and make sure all the burps are directed straight at you because I don’t want you to miss a bit of this putrid aromatics. Hmmm no wonder we don’t have guests over anymore.