Hello loser. It's Friday night and you're here, listening to an audio, made by some girl you've never met, and never will meet, and touching your little penis. What's new? Don't you already touch it every day? Several times a day?

You know how most men have girlfriends, wives? Women who want to get them off, please them? You're not a man are you? You're like a, constantly wanking. Wrapping your fist - is it a fist, or two fingers and a thumb? - around that little dicklet of yours, day in, day out. Well come on then wanker. Let's do this. Get it out and start stroking. That is if yo...

Hello loser. It's Friday night and you're here, listening to an audio, made by some girl you've never met, and never will meet, and touching your little penis. What's new? Don't you already touch it every day? Several times a day?

You know how most men have girlfriends, wives? Women who want to get them off, please them? You're not a man are you? You're like a, constantly wanking. Wrapping your fist - is it a fist, or two fingers and a thumb? - around that little dicklet of yours, day in, day out. Well come on then wanker. Let's do this. Get it out and start stroking. That is if you weren't already.

It's probably for the best you know, that you're not out tonight. I mean, can you imagine? You, out there, in a bar or a club, leering at a real life girl like a total fucking weirdo, or even worse, trying to talk to her? Would you even be able to talk to her? Can you talk to girls? Really? You look like a wimp to me. Anyway, I mean, eugh! How creepy would that be? You'd just be making everyone's skin crawl with your mere presence! Everyone would be repulsed by you, even though they may be too polite to say it. It would be horrible.

Are you almost there yet? I really do have better things I could be doing. (laughs) Real men I could be doing. Let me count you down, OK? Come when I get to 1. Right, 10...9...8...7...

----This is the Audio & Video version