We're going to take a deep dive into all of the things wrong with your dick today.

The following list is not exhaustive: it's small, it's ugly, and it's owned by someone with no stamina despite how many times a day it's jerked off. And, of course, it belongs to a total fucking virgin.

Watch us debate all the (de)merits that apply to your sad little cocklet. Would we fuck you? God no. If we did, in some alternate universe, would it even count as sex? Of course not! Would we feel it? Almost certainly not. How long will you last? Probably two whole pumps.

And, when y... Show more